Thursday, April 21, 2011

The post that's not really here.

So I'm not meant to be blogging (self-imposed ban, because I have seven million things to do these holidays... and they are all taking way longer than I thought. And even though I want to share about The Script and Steamfest and Adelaide and the wedding and hanging with friends and babies and Shawn McDonald, Article One, New World Son and visiting my Grandma and knitting a zebra and Space, I can't let myself because I need to get my work done. I've even written up a schedule (which (brackets inside brackets inside brackets) I am quickly falling behind on)...blogging shall recommence next Tuesday). So consider this post 'not really here' (said with weird spooky voice and spirit fingers which trick you into not even noticing I am breaking my own blogging ban). I just need to share something and there's no people at my house. Even the cat isn't home...(actually I wonder where that cat is...)

So tonight, as I was eating dinner and watching Parenthood, I was reading through the 'home port' section on facebook (my facebook is in pirate) & I noticed a few friends had commented sympathy type messages on a mutual friend's wall. Of course I checked out the wall and found many many similar "praying for you guys" kind of messages & scrolled down to find a link to a news report that reported that said friend's (ok friend as in ... I haven't really seen this girl in 5 or so years, she used to come to my church and home group and we did some uni stuff together and both got jobs at schools that met up once a year...then she got married, had kid (maybe kids?), became a pastor and moved to tasmania... we're facebook friends, but not tight) husband went missing on a bushwalk on Tuesday. Apparently he was an experienced bushwalker and had all the right equipment, but something went wrong.

While I was reading this, the comments on her facebook wall started to change... no longer were they messages of hope of finding the husband, but they turned into messages of "I'm so sorry to hear..." A spot of googling told me that her husband's body was found this afternoon.My heart broke. I have never met this man and as I said, I'm not particularly close to the wife. But as I contemplated how her life has changed since Tuesday morning when she said "see you tonight" to her husband as he set off on another hike, I cried. Life is so fragile! I bet that earlier this week her concerns were based around Easter church services... now, aged 31 she is a widow. The man she thought she would grow old with is no longer here.

I know this is not the end of her story, God's plan for her life is not finished. I know her husband is celebrating Easter with Jesus.
There is hope.
But it is still horrible...

The other thing that really struck me about this is how quickly the world knew about his death. Instantly her 512 facebook friends can share in her grief. There is no time for her to mourn with those closest to her, everyone knows. Technology has changed things so much. Condolences are not shared privately, but written publicly for all to see. I don't know what I think about that... it's so cool that the community can gather round someone like that so quickly, but at the same time... where is her time to process it for herself? (not that she is necessarily on facebook right now...maybe i'm overthinking this...I just know that I've be burned once before by premature facebooking...)

Anyway that's my thinking this evening, thank you for letting me share with you... not that I did... you didn't see anything. I'll be back on Tuesday, hopefully.

Now to get back to writing my text types unit.

3 comments:

Mindy said...

Very sad story.

In regards to your non-existent reflections on facebook and grief, I don't necessarily think facebook and technology is a bad thing, in regards to grief. Grief should be shared. I keep thinking that if I ever lose a husband, I'm inclined to be like Hilary Swank in PS I Love You, hiding away and cutting myself off from others, which isn't healthy and isn't "living." The fact that her community of friends can immediately circle around to encourage, cry, and pray for her and her family, is wonderful. The only tragic element is if the news is found out by the family and close friends because of the speed of technology (instead of hearing it verbally).

Hope you get to enjoy some of your holidays without it being fully filled with work commitments. See you when you get back!

Anonymous said...

Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone displays his image.

cassandra said...

That is so sad - it hit home when u said she's 31 - that could almost be me! We can only trust that God has His hand on us & He will protect us until its our time.

I often reflect on fb & its non-existent social codes or etiquette. I have resolved that people process things differently & that all I can do is live by my own standard of fb 'code' & not get upset for others when my 'code' is not shared by them. There is often more to a story, variations in relationships & history that mean I am making assumptions that may not be accurate anyway.

So I live by a few rules on fb:
1. announce my own news only
2. remember who can see this
3. if in doubt, inbox
(& 4. don't get upset when others do differently)
... well, I try with that one :)